@ Monday, November 03, 2008 ●

Such luck I have today.

Tessie cancelled my order because it is too full.
I had a very bad sore throat which nearly lost my voice to.
I just broke up with my boyfriend, which I am going to be frank with him soon.
And I have not done anything to save myself from depression.

... And I felt neglected.
I hate to share my feelings in here, but I just have to.
I don't know why.

I just want to feel that there is someone caring for me.
A shoulder to cry for, a person who I can trust the most.
Someone who can help me when I am in need of help.

... But in the end, I find myself more trouble.
Right now, I feel like I am falling into a very deep abyss.
A neverending hole. And no one is helping me, no one is looking at me. All gone.

I never wanted to be alone.
No, I hated being alone.
That's why I always tried to fit in with friend in school.
Acting slutty and all that. Yet, I failed.

... I failed at almost everything anyway.
Why bother?

... I don't feel like myself.
I felt like I am a different person.

I felt invisible.
I felt like I can be seen through.
I felt like I never existed before.
I felt nothing.
I felt pain.
I felt sadness.

I felt alone.

No one likes me.
... Am I right?

†♠♣ 不思議の国 ♥♦†