● [ . Drowning in The Sea of Loneliness . ] @ Wednesday, June 17, 2009 ●

I am not myself again.

Listening to Cherish for me only makes me go depressed.
Cherish... Yeah, cherish those moments, before they slowly fade away.
Cherish those laughs that was heard in school, cherish those tears that flowed down those cheeks, cherish those feelings that eventually broke the red heart of mine.

In Dictionary.com, cherish is...
1. to hold or treat as dear; feel love for: to cherish one's native land.
2. to care for tenderly; nurture: to cherish a child.
3. to cling fondly or inveterately to: to cherish a memory.

I loved those moments, but it is slowly fading.
I feel like as if I am nothing.
No. It is just a feeling of drowning, and that no one can saves this feeling.
It is scary, but I don't dare to confess it.
I am scared that people just turned around and walk away, saying "From now onwards, I will not know you anymore."
The feeling is still stuck in me.

I treat my friends with care.
I love them, because I believe they will love me back.
Giving them what they need, sacrificing so many things to meet up their needs.
All I want is ... their ... love.
I don't feel it.
And I don't know why.

I wonder. Does my friends even like me?
Do they even treat me like how they treat others?

These feelings...
They are still with me.
Until I realized I am never lonely, this feeling might fade off.
... Who knows.

†♠♣ 不思議の国 ♥♦†